Boundries
Boundaries have been a recurring theme for me this year. The universe is constantly bringing me situations in which i have to choose to cross or honor my boundaries.
Boundaries say “what will you allow?” When will you decide that you are your most important relationship in your life? But most importantly, when will you communicate your needs and teach people how to treat you instead of letting others call the shots.
Asking for what you need is not needy. Its human. Its real. We now live in a world where independence is praised. But the truth? We need people. We need people that can show up for us, and that we can show up for. But no one is a mind reader, and no one will know what you need or how to show up for you if you don’t tell them.
Boundaries are different for everyone. Sometimes you need to cross boundaries and break them down in order to grow. Sometimes you need to honor your boundaries and stay in your lane. There is a season for everything. My point is, whether you need to stay in, or break them down… You need to have them. You need to soul search and find out what they are. Moreover; you need to love yourself enough to be able to openly communicate them.
Recently, I've discovered a passion of mine. I’m fascinated by relationships. How they work. Why they work. Why they don’t work. I’ve found that boundaries are key to a great relationship. Of all kinds. Not just the romantic kind. Friendships too. Relationships with your parents. Co-workers. Yourself. Relationship are dynamic, they take time and energy to maintain, they are messy, they are emotional. But they don’t just happen. They happen when you co-create them. They happen when you have those hard conversations that break down barriers, open your heart, and show people how to treat you and how you can show up for each other.
The only way to create boundaries is to be vulnerable.
vul·ner·a·bil·i·ty
noun
the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
That's exactly it though. We are fearful. We don't’ want to expose how we really feel. We don’t want to tell our partner or friends what our boundaries are. What we need. Because what if they don't’ like them? What if they think we are needy. What if they hurt us? What if they leave.
But what hurts more, is not living in your light, not honoring yourself and expressing your needs. It will hurt to stay in that mediocre relationship, friendship, that doesn’t get your needs met, you’ll act like everything is fine inside when its not or….. You communicate. You put your heart on the line. You expose yourself. Your heart might get shattered open if they leave but you know what? Then they are not your person. What's meant for you will never leave you. Your person will say “I can show up for you, i can honor that.” And if they leave you, you break, you grow, you create space for someone who can show up for you.